The elevator pitch: Duquesne’s got etiquette problems on every level

By: Duke Staff 

This is an editorial piece that does not reflect the views of Duquesne University

Hey, Duquesne. We need to collectively put down our Starbucks cups and talk about a serious issue plaguing our campus: improper elevator etiquette.

For starters, if you are traveling fewer than three floors up or down and do not have any physical limitations, take the stairs. When people are rushing to class and they see you get on at the first floor of College Hall and get off at the second floor, they will not be happy with you. Take the stairs — you will benefit from the exercise, and everyone else will benefit from shorter lift lines.

If you do need to take the elevator, follow proper boarding technique. This means standing off to the side when the elevator arrives. I know it’s hard to wrap your head around this, but sometimes other people use the elevator, and they need to get off. If you’re blocking their only route to freedom, you could be stampeded, Mufasa-style. Nobody wants that.

Once you’re on the elevator, assess your position. Are you near the floor buttons? If so, offer to push them for your fellow passengers. Show them that gender-neutral chivalry is not dead. This is a situation wherein pushing people’s buttons is a good thing. Take advantage of it.

Conversely, if you are far from the buttons, ask someone closer to push them for you, especially if you have elected not to wear deodorant on this particular day. This is very important. No one wants your sweaty armpit shoved in their face as you lunge for the buttons.

As you wait for your floor to arrive, consider yourself. Are you blasting music from your headphones at potentially hearing-damaging levels? If so, spare your fellow passengers, and your eardrums, and turn it down.

Are you blocking anyone — or everyone — else’s exit from the car? Look around. If you are more than six feet tall, look down. There is nothing more stressful for petite people than trying to force their way out of a forest of tall people at the front of an elevator car.

It’s hard enough for the under five-foot-three crowd to dodge everyone’s backpacks and butts. Don’t make elevators more traumatizing for them. Just step out of their way.

When you arrive at your floor, exit quickly so new people can board. Go on your way knowing that you have brought elevator etiquette to a whole new level.

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