The Great Oreo Taste Test

Photo by Joseph Guzy Photo Editor. Triple Double Oreos and a nice, cold glass of milk.
Photo by Joseph Guzy Photo Editor. Triple Double Oreos and a nice, cold glass of milk.
Photo by Joseph Guzy | Photo Editor. Triple Double Oreos and a nice, cold glass of milk.

Welcome to The Duke’s Great Oreo Taste Test. After a rousing debate in the newsroom two weeks ago over the merits of certain Oreo flavors, it became clear that a true test was needed. As such, we gathered together seven unusual flavors currently on sale and had as many staffers try them as possible. These are the results, both in depth from three editors and overall from all nine individuals surveyed.

By Seth Culp-Ressler | Features Editor

Favorite: As unorthodox as this is going to sound, my top pick of our seven flavors is none other than Lemon Oreos. Yes, they are fruit flavored. Don’t expect the normal eating experience — there is no chocolate, peanut butter or mint here. Instead, your taste buds are met with a lighter, more refreshing take on the creme-filled cookie. Clear your mind, grab a nice, cold glass of lemonade and bask in the summer sun. I promise there’s nothing better.

Least Favorite: There’s no good explanation for why Birthday Cake Oreos exist. Open a pack and the first thing that hits you is the smell — a sickeningly sweet aroma that lingers in the air in much the same way that your personal disgust does after eating one. Who asked for this? Do people actually like the taste of nauseating, artificial frosting suspiciously littered with sprinkles? Inexplicably, some staffers found them to be enjoyable. Their opinions are bad. Birthday Cake Oreos are a stain on the good name of dunkable sandwich cookies everywhere.

Most Surprising: I wanted to like Red Velvet Oreos, I really did. And, perhaps foolishly, I had faith in Nabisco’s ability to pull it off. Unfortunately, the execution fell far short of my expectations. The main problem? Undoubtedly the cream cheese icing. Sure, it works on cake. But when your Oreo has an odd cheesy aftertaste? No bueno. Maybe next time, Oreo. Maybe next time.

Photo by Joseph Guzy Photo Editor. A stack of all seven flavors.
Photo by Joseph Guzy | Photo Editor. A stack of all seven flavors.

By Rebekah Devorak | Opinions Editor

Favorite: Let it be known all across the Oreo land, from sea to shining sea, that Cinnamon Bun Oreos are the best. Listen, these taste like Sunday mornings in the fall, when you’re curled under a fluffy blanket with a cup of coffee in a cat mug and a cinnamon roll on a matching plate, and you have no responsibilities but to enjoy life that day. And then, when you go to put your plate in the kitchen sink, you find $20 on the floor. Yup, they’re that good.

Least Favorite: Golden Birthday Cake Oreos are bad. The only thing saving them from this shameful spot is that they have funfetti sprinkles, and only people who hate fun hate funfetti sprinkles. The Red Velvet Oreos, on the other hand, were garbage and should be avoided at all costs. Red Velvet itself is a sham. Most Red Velvet cakes are just chocolate cakes with red food dye added because, apparently, someone decided chocolate isn’t good enough on its own. Oreo also replaced the traditional cream with cream cheese filling, which is a heinous crime that can not be forgiven. No, Oreo. Just no.

Most Surprising: A sleeper hit for me was definitely the Mint Oreos. I typically hate anything mint and chocolate because it feels like I’m being smacked in the face with a tube of toothpaste, and generally, that’s a no-thank-you. But the Mint Oreos were pleasant in a way that Thin Mints aren’t. The thought of having another didn’t completely horrify me or my tastebuds, so I’d say Oreo can put a tally in the win column with these, for sure.

By Leah Devorak | Layout Editor

Favorite: I, like my dog, share a special bond with peanut butter, so the peanut butter Oreo killed it for me. While some others found it to be incredibly underwhelming, I thought it delivered the perfect punch of peanut butter mixed with chocolate that any icing-filled cookie could ever hope to bring, sans the gross, chemically, over-sweet icky-ness of all the others. If you’re going to cheat on the original Oreo, it has to be with this one.

Least Favorite: Whoever it was at Nabisco who thought turning cake into a cookie was a good idea needs to be fired. Not only is Birthday Cake absolutely awful, as its artificial raw egg and vanilla smell reveals, but Red Velvet is even worse. All thanks should be given to the cookie’s bizarre “cream cheese flavored creme” that tastes like nothing but sadness. Cake is supposed to be fun, Oreo, not revolutionarily awful. You’re not Marie Antoinette. Stop ruining it for the masses.

Most Surprising: As much as I love peanut butter, I live and die by mint chocolate. Getting ice cream? Mint chocolate chip. Buying candy? Peppermint patties. Girl Scout at the door? Thin mints. So I went into this fully expecting Mint Oreos to reign champion. But they didn’t. They were nothing but a weird, over sweet, toothpaste-y concoction that I never want to ever taste again. Oreo, you broke my little, mint-loving heart. You let me down. I hope you’re happy.

Overall Results

Our Great Oreo Taste Test was taken on by nine different staff members and writers. Each individual taster was able to rate flavors on a scale from one to five, one being the worst and five being the best. With this metric, the best possible score a flavor could obtain was a perfect 45, while the worst possible score was a measly nine. One last important fact to note is that this test did not include regular Oreo flavors such as Original, Golden or Double Stuf. Our assumption is that people know what those varieties taste like.

With that in mind, below is a histogram displaying the results of the survey. As you can see, Mint narrowly came out on top with a 37. Nevertheless, both Cinnamon Bun and Peanut Butter are hot on its heels with scores of 36 and 34, respectively. Unsurprisingly, both Golden Birthday Cake and Red Velvet brought up the rear. While our small sample size might not provide for the definitive answer to the ever-present Oreo flavor conundrum, hopefully the results can help to better inform your next Oreo buying excursion.

Histogram by Kaye Burnet/News Editor
Histogram by Kaye Burnet | News Editor