Police Briefs- September 5

In result of Labor Day festivities last year, Uncle PB had to recite 19 incidents in the police report. This year, he counts only six, which is a cause for celebration.

And luckily, he bought a superfluous amount of confetti at Party City because of the Pirates capping off their first .500 season since George H.W. Bush was in office.

Uncle PB cringes when he thinks back to all the moments in Buccos’ baseball that made him lose sleep, but now, he no longer has to think of Sid Bream and Jerry Meals.

So raise the Jolly Roger, save money for playoff tickets and get ready for this week’s police report.

Last Thursday, an unknown person chipped the window in the back of 914 Fifth Avenue.

A small amount of marijuana was found on a student in Towers on Friday. A similar confiscation was made in St. Martin’s on Tuesday.

An underage intoxicated female student in Vickroy was transported to the Mercy ER early Saturday morning, and another intoxicated student was reported outside of Assumption L.L.C. vomiting on Sunday.

Also this week, a student was caught advertising a fake ID on Twitter, posting “if anyone needs a fake text” and the contact information of a fake ID distributor. He was referred to the Office of Student Conduct.