Police Briefs

By Wes Crosby | News Editor

It’s funny how much Uncle PB has changed throughout the years. It’s almost as though he is the concoction of multiple personalities, each taking over for a period of about one to three years and then stepping aside for another similar, but slightly different personality to take over for another lengthy period of time.

The current personality of Uncle PB has decided that as his last go-round as undoubtedly the most sports obsessed and dry humored of all past PB personalities, he would like to “break the fourth wall” so to speak. This Uncle PB would like to say that he has had a blast thinking of sarcastic, hopefully amusing material to go along with your much anticipated weekly crime report. This Uncle PB would also like to say he is very proud to have been the one to return the fun into police briefs this academic year after a semester of straight-laced reports last spring.

Uncle PB likes to refer to those days as the dark ages. But the dark ages are gone and Uncle PB is here and, with a new personality taking over next week, he is here to stay for quite a while.

Now that that has been said, this PB is proud to bring you the crime report one last time.

On Sunday, a female student reported that two tires had been slashed on her car parked in Brottier’s garage and on Tuesday, another student reported her iPhone stolen from the Hogan Dining Hall. A student was eventually caught and the phone was recovered.

Well, that’s it for this Uncle PB, Duquesne. He’ll see ya when he sees ya.