Police Briefs

Uncle PB doesn’t deal well with goodbyes.

As members of his prestigious crime staff graduate from the police academy and move onto greater adventures, ol’ PB can’t help but smile. As Dr. Seuss said, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”

Uncle PB applauds each and every one of you for your continued commitment to excellence at the academy. Because of you, the Duquesne police report has evolved into a work of art, and a must-read every week.

In ten years, when you’re out solving high profile crimes, take a moment to remember and appreciate where you started. Remember all the late nights. Remember the moments when you felt like giving up, but kept going because at the end of the day, someone needs to give Duquesne the police report.

PB wishes you luck, and hopes you’ll come back to visit.

One more crime report for this school year, folks. On Monday night, a student came back from Easter break only to find that someone broke into his room in Assumption Hall and vandalized personal items.

The next day, a female student had her Ralph Lauren coat stolen from her room in St. Ann Hall.

Uncle PB has enjoyed serving you this year, Duquesne. Have a wonderful summer, and stay out of trouble.

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